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focus on immediate future

let's start getting this Caravan together. That's why i love the Qur'an so much, i'm not so concerned if it's the truth or not, i mean i think it is the truth, but also the way that reading it sort of breaks the everyday cycle of disappointment that i'm not getting my creative needs met, and things start happening. Islam is sort of a religion where there is a lot of desert caravans. Sometimes i read a verse like "Allah brought you out of the desert" when it's talking about Joseph , but then i think about it personally, i was in Albuquerque, and everything was falling apart and everyone wanted to buy my most precious belongings (my car, computer) for like 10% or less of what it was worth. Like my $4000 car for $400, it was like everyone was turning into human vultures and saw I was struggling, and instead of helping they were excited about what they could get out of it. It's a town of scavengers that Albuquerque, rich and poor scavengers, they're all just vultures. But Allah brought me out of the desert. 2 weeks before i left at about 8:50 AM in the morning i remember because it was 10 minutes before the library opened and i was going to use the internet. I had this strange sighting, just a little dot in the air about the size of this period (.) and it was like peach pinkish color, but it seemed to be looking at me. And there was like a aura around it, and i felt sort of like it was hypnotising me, and communicating with me. I didn't think much about it, thought maybe i just had something in my eye and it was making me see things. But the days following I found this new strength, and i suddenly had the power to, instead of sit there in my apartment and hate my parents for not helping me get my life back together, and trying to commit me to a insane mental institution, I had this new strength and decided to take my cat and go hitchhike out of the state. And i had all these childhood memories that resurfaced, and all this pleasant thoughts, and deep thoughts about Art theory and european culture, like in those 5 seconds i was looking at this sphere in the atmosphere before it dissapeared, that i had like a compressed conversation as if i had been talking to someone really intelligent and, it felt like i had just gone on a really sophisticated date with a really cultured female, and talked about European arts n' stuff, and she was like telepathically probing into my unconscious mind, and pulling out all sorts of qualities about myself that i didn't remember that i had.

Umm, so i think there's somewhere in my unconscious mind that i can figure out how to get some money together, even if the humans around me haven't seen me proove myself yet, i just need to summon the invisible energy that Reiki or Holy Spirit or whatever you want to call it, to make some good things start happening, so my wife and i can be more creative, and not just be doing everything we are told to do. That's what i think the Qur'an is all about overcoming oppression, even if it's well paid glorified oppression, i don't want to be in someone else's cage. I want to be in charge! hehehe, umm, so we'll keep praying that Monica and I get our adequate health care, we aren't getting our needs met at all, we're going through some cheap government program for health care. It's not helpful at all, it's just what they provide for people, and she needs dental care, and we need to feel good about ourselves, i think Monica is depressed because she doesn't take good care of herself a lot of the time, me too, i think that i am happier than before, but there are some symptoms that seem like we've given up on our hopes and dreams, and we're just going to go with the curriculum and do what all the other slaves expect us to do what they are doing and be like them and they call it "doing our part around here" I don't want to be around here anymore then . Okay i have more e-mail from you to read, i'll tell you about the Wandering Star, i saw it was this star that was weaving around the other stars when i was sleeping under the sky, because i was sleeping under the stars a lot of nights and could watch the stars. I got a better connection to finding help, when no humans helped me then maybe the Aliens are really just Angels, and they just have hovering flying saucers or whatever. But there's a bible verse "wandering star, to whom is reserved, the darkness and blackness forever" a lot of what i thought were UFO sightings, are sort of mentioned in the Bible, and the Qur'an. Like the Angels helping Muhammad in a battle. Coming from the sky or whatever. It sounds like a new chapter of UFOlogy like a scholarly endeavor that i should be able to get a government grant to partake in, where i learn about what UFOlogy might be partially explained in sort of a code in the Bible. I'll have to learn my Hebrew and Arabic, so i have a lot more studying, and interfacing with the Supreme Being before i'm smart enough to write a thorough report on this one heheheheh

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